Words...and more Words

I'm not sure how many of you know, but I am an avid crossword puzzler. I have completed a myriad of crossword puzzles...ranging from the NY times to New York magazine, my college daily Targum to a number of daily newspapers. I also own a collection of crossword puzzle books, with which one I am currently in the process of finishing, "a set of crossword puzzles to boost your brainpower!" edited by WILL SHORTZ. He's the crossword puzzle editor of the NY Times and he's brilliant. I have to say, I have yet to fully complete a NY Times crossword, I get really close but it's too hard to finish off. My favorite is the New York Magazine crossword because the clues relate to our progressive culture and pop stars. This is my secret habit...love of words and knowledge. Well, my reason for writing this is because there is a new docufilm out called, "Wordplay," and I'm dying to see it. Check out the link. I also found out that Mike Mussina, my favorite Yankee pitcher, is also in the movie b/c he is a crossword puzzle junkie too!

Well, here's an update regarding my job situation. So, there is a huge change in the position. It's being moved to NYC with the rest of my department. So, they are in the process of moving and there are many changes going on in the department, so they haven't settled on any decision yet. So, here am I still waiting...but I'm just trusting God and living life.

Jaden turned 18 months last Friday and he's developing fast. His words of the moment are Bear, ball, no, car, dada, buh bye, mama, book, and he's learned how to sign 'puzzle' on his own. He's so into balls, puzzles, books, musical instruments and trucks. I have to tell you a funny incident. For Father's Day, we went out for breakfast and obviously, half way thru the meal, Jaden wants to get out of his highchair. As he's just roaming around near us, he begins to kind of venture out and then we tell him, "Jaden, No, don't go too far." Then he looks at us and says, "NO, bye bye!" starts waving and then starts to run. We were in shock. He's starting to put things together and beginning to understand life especially disobeying. Ahhhhh! It was the cutest thing though.

Recently I finished the Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It was a really honest and mindset challenging book... I have to admit, the writing wasn't the greatest, but the read was good. I enjoyed the book, but of the honesty of his thoughts and his ability to think deeply in order to relate our inner thoughts to our "living" life. There was this part on relationships and it really convicted me about my motives and the way I view people. Here it is...
"Mr. Spencer then asked us about another are in which he felt metaphors cause trouble. He asked us to consider relationships. What metaphors do we use when we think of relationships? We value people...We invest in people...and soon enough we listed an entire white board of economic metaphor. Relationship could be bankrupt...People are priceless. All economic metaphors. I was taken aback.
...The problem with Christian culture is we think of love as a commodity...I could see it very clearly. If somebody is doing something for us, offering us something, be it gifts, time popularity, or what have you, we feel they have value, we feel they are worth something to us, and perhaps, we feel they are priceless."
This passage really hit home for me. As it convicted Donald Miller, it convicted me to repent for not understanding love with grace or with equality. We are all selfish human beings. It opened up a new paradigm shift to value people for being people at the core. People cannot be equated with/ or judged by economic statuses. In our culture, we do that...we naturally veer toward people who seem to have it all or people who are established. We've perfected our own sense of worth by performing and doing to make ourselves look good or that we have the material possessions people want. C.S. Lewis said, "to love all is to be vulnerable." To be honest, it's easier to love people when they do offer back (whether its money or advice, roles) or you do feel a connection. Why do I have the close friends I do? We connect and offer each other something. I don't think Donald Miller is saying re-assess your relationships and determine your motives in your current friendships, but he's saying when you see people...How do you see them? In God's eyes, no one is better the other and everyone is on the same page. We are all sinners and fallen short of God's glory. I'm not saying that this type of love is going to be perfected here on earth nor am I saying that I can possibly love every single person as God does. I will try...b/c I am obedient.

Okay, too much deep thinking. Right now, I'm reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel, so I'll let you know how it turns out. I'll leave you with some pictures...enjoy.

In Central Park, NY...

Here am I...

I took the long online profile to discover my 5 main themes of strengths. I basically revolve my mindset and feelings around these themes. It's interesting...after reading through my strengths, I am quite surprised how accurate it was. This book is extremely practical and really helps you function efficiently and successfully with relationships and at work. Check it out! Now, Discover Your Strengths.

Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help-and they soon will-you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.

Relator
Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people-in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends-but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk-you might be taken advantage of-but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.

Consistency
Balance is important to you. You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same, no matter what their station in life, so you do not want to see the scales tipped too far in any one person's favor. In your view this leads to selfishness and individualism. It leads to a world where some people gain an unfair advantage because of their connections or their background or their greasing of the wheels. This is truly offensive to you. You see yourself as a guardian against it. In direct contrast to this world of special favors, you believe that people function best in a consistent environment where the rules are clear and are applied to everyone equally. This is an environment where people know what is expected. It is predictable and evenhanded. It is fair. Here each person has an even chance to show his or her worth.

Focus
"Where am I headed?" you ask yourself. You ask this question every day. Guided by this theme of Focus, you need a clear destination. Lacking one, your life and your work can quickly become frustrating. And so each year, each month, and even each week you set goals. These goals then serve as your compass, helping you determine priorities and make the necessary corrections to get back on course. Your Focus is powerful because it forces you to filter; you instinctively evaluate whether or not a particular action will help you move toward your goal. Those that don't are ignored. In the end, then, your Focus forces you to be efficient. Naturally, the flip side of this is that it causes you to become impatient with delays, obstacles, and even tangents, no matter how intriguing they appear to be. This makes you an extremely valuable team member. When others start to wander down other avenues, you bring them back to the main road. Your Focus reminds everyone that if something is not helping you move toward your destination, then it is not important. And if it is not important, then it is not worth your time. You keep everyone on point.

Harmony
You look for areas of agreement. In your view there is little to be gained from conflict and friction, so you seek to hold them to a minimum. When you know that the people around you hold differing views, you try to find the common ground. You try to steer them away from confrontation and toward harmony. In fact, harmony is one of your guiding values. You can't quite believe how much time is wasted by people trying to impose their views on others. Wouldn't we all be more productive if we kept our opinions in check and instead looked for consensus and support? You believe we would, and you live by that belief. When others are sounding off about their goals, their claims, and their fervently held opinions, you hold your the debate, preferring to talk about practical, down-to-earth matters on which you can all agree. In your view we are all in the same boat, and we need this boat to get where we are going. It is a good boat. There is no need to rock it just to show thatyou can.

Right now, I'm listening to cds called "The Secret Place" by Graham Cooke. I'm not sure how many of you have heard of him, but he's fabulous. He focuses a lot on intimacy with the Lord and his teachings pierce you straight to the core of our hearts. Through his experiences of Christ and life, he says that in the midst of the utmost hardships and struggles, it's all about God's love and who you are becoming through them. Loving God through loving yourself. Going through the process is the key, not particularly the outcome. Living in peace and rest in the uttermost midst of turmoil. How to do that..."Wait on the Lord through brokeness and breaking." So profound and such beauty. As John 15 says..."Abiding in Him." We must have Habitation in the Lord, not visitation in the Lord. I've been going through a slow but good spiritual healing and renewal of late and it's definitely been challenging me a lot.

On another note, I have my 3rd interview with L'Oreal next Thursday with the VP of Sales Administration. I don't know what God has in store for me. We'll see.

Oh, the joys of life!

It's been over a month since my last post, so I better get a move on and update. My days and weeks have consisted of experiencing the development of my little booger, Jaden. Which really translates into "The Wiggles," "Blue's Clues" and Thomas train sets. Just kidding! It's really interesting to see how much he's grown, not only physically, but mentally and socially. He's wanting to do everything we do, eat everything we do, he sings and dances, he's more vocal and plays so well. He's becoming a little person... Over lunch, a close friend and I were discussing how now as mommies, our lives really don't seem significant. Let me explain, all day from morning to night, our actions, our speech, our instincts depict the amount of time with give to our children. May it be from doing a puzzle to reading a book to even discipline, our lives are lived for our kids. BUT, when I see how HAPPY Jaden is, it doesn't matter, things that our culture values doesn't matter such as career, fame, and etc. It's deemed as insignificant b/c NO ONE ELSE sees the amazing seeds of love, grace, values, security you plant in their hearts. It's funny b/c I never imagined that I'd fall in love again...apart from Won that is. It's weird, I grew up thinking I'll never love anyone more (GOD ASIDE) than my husband and look, a love for your child is inexplicable...unconditional. Well, I'm realizing how good God is...how good life is...God rewards mommies. Of course, your hubby and children do too. A couple of months back, I had a really good conversation with a friend and we chatted about work vs. staying home, our goal-oriented personalities. It was really encouraging for me b/c she shed a new light on a perspective. She said how in our careers it was easier to be goal-oriented b/c we were given goals to achieve. As a mommy, we can take that kind of perspective and put it into our daily motherhood. The hardest part is it LOOKS different and of course, we don't get rewarded right away. You see, I love that and it's really be helpful for me to speak to other mommies.

At church, we had a "Healing Weekend" and it was great. It was perfect timing. I have a ton of fears...fears of losing myself to fears of disappointment and failure. God was amazing and His spirit is full of joy. God has really been showing me the "fullness of Joy" and what that looks like even in the midst of all things negative.

The weather here has been absolutely fabulous. It's a little colder than expected, but fabulous...so breezy and sunny yet in the mid 60's.

I've finally settled and our life here has been good. We have our little schedules and our routine going. I have playdates and time to hang with friends and other moms. I'm learning a lot about myself and others. Our family is stronger than ever (of course, we have weakenesses) and really learning to function efficiently as a family. Thanks to God and the show Super Nanny.

Btw, I am currently reading this book called NOW, Discover your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton. Here's an excerpt... " Unfortunately, most of us have little sense of our talents and strengths, much less the ability to build our lives around them. Instead, guided by our parents, teachers...we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected." It's a great practical book and it truly goes deeper to know our strengths and even discover that some of our weakeness and matter of factly, strenghts. I'm only half way through.

Well, I'm not sure whether or not I'll go back to work. I got this part-time job and ended up not taking it. But about two weeks ago I got this called from L'oreal and for this position as a Sales Analyst in their luxury products division. Exactly what I did at Chanel... in the buying division. I am very interested and did go in for the interviews. BUT the difference this time around is that I'm realizing is that JADEN is my first priority. I mean I've always known that but this time it's not about ME.... "oh, I need to work, I'm not good with this motherhood thing." God really has worked out those issues. I'll really have to assess God's will and sovereignty in my life and of course, see how Jaden will handle pre-pre school/ daycare. It's really up to Jesus and Jaden regarding this job. So, keep me in your prayers. I'm going with the flow...we'll see if I'll be a working mom or not.

We finally cut Jaden's hair. We've been so nervous b/c he hates loud noises like vaccuums. And those buzzers are pretty loud. However, he did fine...I'll end with some pictures.

MILESTONE

YES, at 15 months...Jaden is walking. Actually, waddling. I've posted some pictures for your enjoyment!

Boston

We came back from our awesome mini getaway to Boston. Won had an extended weekend, due to Presidents' Day on Monday and his company was moving this past weekend, so they gave Friday off. It was so nice to get away and spend some time relaxing and meeting up with good friends. This is my second time visiting, Boston. The first time was for just a brief moment, so I wasn't able to fully expolore Boston. Boston is such a fun city, a city rich with US history. Although the city is small compared to NYC, it's quite engaging...it's much friendlier to kids, it's cleaner, it's driveable and it's filled with sights to see and places to visit. I bought this book by DK publishing, that lists the "Top 10 things to do in Boston" and top 10 things to do within the top 10 list and we did them all. For some reason, this past weekend, the weather dropped to a mere high of 25 degrees from 65 degrees. It was FREEZING. Thank goodness, we stayed at the Ritz-Carlton in Boston Common. Staying at a fabulous hotel, certainly helped staying in. Big props to Helen, who hooked us up!

Furthermore, I got a chance to hang out with my two really good friends from elementary school, Aggie and Dave. Our friendships are lifelong ones. Aggie and I have been friends since 5th grade and she is just absolutely amazing. She is currently at Harvard Medical School, studying Neurology. (She also graduated from Harvard undergrad) As we were catching up, it's inspiring to see how much passion she has for medicine yet she's so down to earth. She and I are at such different places in our lives yet we are able to relate and see how much experience and emotion can bring people together. I spent the whole day with her on Saturday, shopping and chatting over coffee at Harvard Square while Won was playing in a charity basketball tournament for North Korean orphans on Saturday. Jaden was being babysat by Hannah, a good friend of ours. Thank you, Hannah. Although, the NJ Turnpikers lost, they had heart. Won was definitely MVP, my MVP.

My friend, Dave is another passionate/ambitious one. He and I have known each other for years. After Yale, he went to Harvard Law school and is currently interning in a law firm in Boston. Soon, he will be in DC clerking for a justice in the Supreme Court. He is one out of 36 that get chosen every year. Amazing. He firmly believes God has placed him in Law for this very reason...to be in the judicial system, being able to impact the direction of the country. It's so cool!

EVERY friendship that GOD has placed in my life is precious and to be treasured. I have a myriad of friends that differ in many ways yet mirror each other in many ways. Every person that God places in your life is for a reason and as I am getting older and more and more responsibilities are handed unto my plate, I'm realizing I need friends.
As God has been teaching me about gratefulness, I am thankful for every one of my friends and each of you has a special place in my heart. With each of you to grow with, to learn from, to give and receive from, to experience things with, to challenge me, to inspire and teach me, to be happy for, to love and support me and to run the race with.

So, to every one of my friends, I LOVE YOU and PRAY for you! I am so happy to be part of your lives and that I get a chance to see everything the Lord has done in you. Let's continue to spur each other on towards love and good deeds!

TO CLARIFY... Cicero once said, "Life is nothing without friendships." I completely believe this to be true when I LEARNED to be a better and true friend. Let me explain. Yes, in your life people will come and go, stay for a season whether it's long or short, and some stay forever. This is my clincher, learn to be a true friend. That will look different for every person. We are all human with shortcomings, faults and weaknesses. In Proverbs, it writes, that " a friend sticks closer than a brother." What I think it means is that we have the "choice to choose our friends" but what family we get born into, we don't get to choose. So, true friendship thrives b/c we chosed eachother and we have each other's well-being in priority where there is a genuine love and balance to give and to recieve. In the end, all of our "true" intentions will come out anyway whether it's selfish or not. Let's make life everything b/c of true friendships!