Way Overdue...

Wow! It's been a couple of months since my last blog. A ton of things have happened; therefore, my mind has been in whirls of pensive thought. To begin, this past Saturday, my amazing grandmother passed away. She practically raised my sister and me throughout our childhood. She was only 72 and it seems so incredulous to me that she's gone. It was so sudden...she collapsed last Friday night and was hospitalized and in a week she's gone. She's had health problems but wasn't supposed to be this early. She was so awesome and loved all of her grandkids. She was so patient and loving. It's a little over a year since my other grandmother died. I have to stop writing, tears are welling up.

Death has been one of the things constantly running through my mind. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine, older brother, committed suicide. Man, that was surreal. I'm not sure if any one of us knew how to respond/react to that. It seems as though he suffered from bipolar mental disorder. But when you met him, he seemed so normal and just a regular guy. At the viewing, my friend read the last journal entry of his and all he wrote down was, "I am a child of God, a child of God, a child of God" repeatedly. He jumped off the George Washington bridge and must of died immediatedly because it was freezing.

About a week ago, my close, close friend almost got into a huge car accident, and it really shook her up. I am so thankful she's not gone. Sigh of relief!

I was driving up from the NJ Turnpike and literally witnessed a multi-car accident where I saw a car tire shoot straight up into the air. Blessedly, I was driving slower than usual and I was 5 cars away from the accident. My heart raced at the site of the accident.

To be honest, God knows I don't feel ready to die or ever ready for anything that will require a sacrifice. My question is..."are we or am I ever ready for anything?" It is written in Romans, "For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you though Christ from the power of sin that leads to death...so you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves...for the Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us we're God's children." Why is it that most of the time I feel like a cowering, fearful slave? I know I am a child of God, yet why do I lack so much trust. So far, my twenties have been a consistent whirlwind of transitions and change. Most unplanned, some planned. However, has it really built more trust in Him? Have I learned to love Him more? Has He become my all in all? How about my heart...has it hardened or has it softened? I hope so...I better have.

Truly, as I am learning more of who I am with the Lord and how He's shaping me, things of this world is slowly passing away. GOD, you are sovereign and good.

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are quite small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us an immeasurably great glory that will last forever! So we don't look at the the troubles we can see right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever." 2 Cor. 4: 16-18

On a somewhat brigher note, I have resigned from my job at L'Oreal and will be working at a new job at Liz Claiborne starting March 19th. L'Oreal is great and the team I work for are fabulous, but just can't understand the the whole life/balance thing. The Liz office is in NJ, about a 20 minute drive and I will be doing something that is somewhat related. It has just as great benefits as well as set working hours. 9-5. Yes!

Jaden's growing at rapid speed and is learning a ton of things at daycare. His major milestone is that he's speaking in sentences. His daycare functions as a preschool. They even take class pictures. After the summer program, Jaden will be entering Pre K 3. It's great!

This must be the year! I have 5 weddings to go to and 6 of my girlfriends are pregnant. Three with their firsts, one with her 2nd, one on her 4th, one on her 3rd. Crazy! I am craving for my second, definitely. We'll see! :)

Here's pics for you to enjoy... ALL in ALL I love every one of you who has been and is part of my life!